Yes You Can!!!!!!

 Why shoot for the ground when you're already standing up? Why would you PLAN to fall on your face?  ....Don't plan to fall on your face, plan to fly while being content with standing for now.  

     I'm a dreamer and a bit of an optimist. I am one of those who believes anything is possible with the right kind of effort and hard work. If for some reason things don't work out like I plan, you know what? That probably means there is something better coming my way :).
    The other day I had an interesting conversation with some family members and I decided I wanted to write about it here.
     First, I'll give you some background information. My husband and I started following Dave Ramsey's financial program. I love it. I listen to the show all the time, and I have checked out most of the Dave Ramsey books and dvds they have at the library A little before that my husband had decided he wanted to buy a house, but honestly, we're poor college students. We don't have the money to buy a house yet. I have a decent job for someone with little college education and my husband is working part time as well, and we are making enough to make ends meet and pay for most of his college with cash. We did have to take out a small student loan when we first got married to pay for part of it with the goal to have it paid off before he graduates. We started Dave Ramsey's plan about 2-3 months ago. We just completed baby step one and set up our budget to start with baby step 2 next month. (that's probably more info than you needed) anyways
    My husband loves to save money any way he can. Part of the reason he wanted to buy a house is because he felt like it would be cheaper. I didn't know how to explain that I disagreed with that statement. We came up with an excel spreadsheet that calculated whether it would be cheaper to rent and save for a few year and then buy the house in cash, to rent and save for a good down payment on a house, or to just buy a house now with a very small down payment. All of it depends on how much money we're making, how much our rent will be, and how much we are able to save each month. Basically we figured out if my husband makes $50,000 a year after we graduate and we're able to live on less than $25,000 a year we could save $25,000 a year and buy a $100,000 house with cash in 4 years. That sounds awesome doesn't it?
    Well, we all know there is opposition in all things. If you have ever watched or listened to the dave ramsey show and people doing their debt free screams Dave almost always asks the debt free screamers if they had people that made fun of them for what they were doing. Well, I knew there would be some comments from my dad because I was taught debt is a tool and its ok to have debt. He said once we start making that kind of money we will want to spend it. I know that. Actually, I was planning for some increase in spending. I also know that I would rather have a paid for house, drive a car that is falling apart, and no debt; than to have a mortgage, a brand new car, and a lot of debt. That's one of the advantages to being a dreamer. Your dreams can outweigh your present wants and desires with the hope that, like Dave Ramsey says:"if you live like no one else, later you can live like no one else."
    There was another reaction I wasn't expecting. One day while we were over at my in-laws house, My husband decided to talk about finances and our new plan to get out of debt and save up for a house and pay for it in cash. Which is not a problem, when you discover something cool, usually you want to share it, especially with family. I have no idea what their finances are like. I do know they are debt free, they don't make a whole lot of money, they are really good with the money they make, and save for many purchases. I don't know if they have a budget or if they have ever budgeted, but that's not my point. So we're telling them our plan and they told us they would have never been able to do what we were planning because they didn't make enough money. They told us that once you start making a certain amount of money you don't have to be smart with money anymore. They said that we wouldn't have to be smart with money if we were making $50,000 a year. They told us we should plan as if we're gonna be working at Mcdonalds, and if something better happens that's nice, but plan for the worst. I was surprised! Other than my mom who supports me in everything I do, These were the people I thought would be excited. Well, I didn't say much at that time. I feel like they think I'm crazy a lot of the time when I mention finances anyways.
    There was one line that kept bothering me, "plan as if you're gonna be working at mcdonalds". Really? Plan to make minimum wage?!?!?!? I currently work 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs, NONE of them pay minimum wage. (I keep all three because I like them not because I have to work 3 jobs to get by). My husband has a part time job that seems willing to hire him on full time after he graduates and it pays more than minimum wage. So if we were planning on living on a Mcdonalds income, We'd be planning making less than what we currently make. WHY?!? I don't know about you, but I plan to progress in life, not move back. Why shoot for the ground when you're already standing up? Why would you PLAN to fall on your face? Yeah, it's a good idea to plan incase of an emergency, but that isn't your goal. Your goal is, as this anonymous quote states: "shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among stars."
     You can do anything that you put your mind to. It's ok to have big dreams, in fact I recommend it. Don't plan to fall on your face, plan to fly while being content with standing for now.
   

 [disclaimer: I really do love the friends and family I am wrote about in this post. I am not mad at any of them. I am simply using the experience I have to illustrate a point.]

What would you do if you could do anything?... basically, what is your dream?

Today I was asked an interesting question. I was asked if I could do anything and money weren't a factor, what would I do?
I thought about it. my first response was I would want to live on the outskirts of a town or city with a beautiful greenhouse garden. I would live somewhat close to a school where I would teach math and music. I'd also want to live close enough to where my husband works so he can ride his bike to work, because he loves being able to do that now. I want kids so I'd have some children, my own and also I'd like to adopt. I'd teach my kids all the things they need to know. If I had kids I might want to homeschool them rather than send them to school, but I think I'd let them choose. I would travel once in a while to other countries. I've always wanted to visit Italy and other places in Europe, especially if there are castles :). I also want to visit my mission again in Argentina. There are several other places I've said I would like to visit.
Then later I was thinking about it and thought that the things I do in my spare time are prolly what I would want to do if I could do anything. So, what do I do in my spare time? There are several things. So here is a little about me now, and what I would do if I could do anything.

• I love to experiment cooking. I love to cook for my husband and experiment with healthy recipes, and also making other recipes healthier, like my chicken veggie noodle soup, or my most recent apple pie experiment. :) This is one of the reasons I want a greenhouse garden, so I can continue to experiment with recipes and make food from fresh from the garden veggies, cuz everyone knows those are the kind of fruits and veggies that taste the best. :)
• In my spare time I listen to music. I also love to imagine how I would direct a high school choir, or other music group to sing that song. I think of other versions of the song, how I could alter the song to make it fit whatever age/ type of group I'm teaching. So if I could do anything I would either want to teach at a school or create a community singing group.
• In my spare time, another thing I do is I look at the following websites:
•  http://www.adoptuskids.org/meet-the-children 
• theadoptionexchange.org

These websites are kids in foster care looking for someone to adopt them, they are looking for a forever family. We have not completed the home study program yet because we currently don't live in a home that would qualify, because we need at least one more bedroom to adopt even one kid. We would move to a bigger apartment if we were able to adopt, but as of right now we are staying where we are. But at least once a week I will go through and look at the kids who are waiting to be adopted. I wish I could bring them into our home. I wonder if it would be weird to adopt a teenager when I'm usually less than 10 year older than them. I think of playing basketball or other sports with the kids. I imagine us walking to the park near our home to play games. I imagine taking them shopping with me to the store and teaching them to save money as we shop. I think of how how we will have a garden in the summer and imagine teaching a kid to garden. I think of picking them up from school and talking to them about how their day went. I think of learning songs with them and singing together. I think of playing my guitar and singing to them as they go to sleep or whenever. I think of holding a little one in my arms during church. I think of teaching my kids the things my parents taught me, that I am of worth, that There is a Father in heaven who loves me. I think of us walking to and from church together as a family talking about what we did or learned in church, and maybe having a snowball fight in the snow (hehe) and then warming up with some hot chocolate. I think of giving them a hug when they've had a rough day or they are scared, or when they fall. I imagine picking them up and helping them when they fall. I think of the fun conversations we could have. I imagine going to the library and getting new books to read and reading them together. I imagine reading or telling them the stories my mom told to me. I imagine making chicken noodle soup when they are sick, or getting up in the night to help a hurting or scared child. I think of staying up late waiting for them to come home from being with friends. I think of helping them with homework, and possibly what it'd be like to home school, if I would even like that, I don't know yet, but I think about it.
Wow, I really do think of all those things, I just realized it. no wonder I cry so much when I think about wanting kids.

Anyways, back to the topic. So basically, if I could do anything and money wasn't a factor. I would do everything I said at the beginning with the house and big garden and teaching math and music, but I'd also find me some children that need to be loved, and I would give them all the love I have and more.


Your turn think about it. What would you do if you could do anything and money wasn't a factor?
What is your dream?

Think about it

A Friend Always,
ME

Feed My Sheep

Hi, So It's been a while since I posted anything on here. Time to start posting again. A lot has happened. I got married almost 3 weeks ago. CRAZY!!! I'll share more about my amazing husband and married life another time. Today I went to stake conference with my hubby and they spoke a lot about sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with those around you. (for those of you who know me I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or in other words I'm a Mormon). I am thinking of the people I could share the gospel with, and this family that lives near our home came to mind. I have never spoken to her. I don't even know if she speaks English, but I do know I feel drawn to them, so I think my goal for this next week will be to talk with them at least once. :) Well I better get back to life. :) Remember you are loved. Be Brave. Make Today Spectacular A Friend Always, ME

Making today a better day.

Don't worry about what has already happened. That time is past. Just ask yourself "What can I do today to make today better than yesterday?" Then go out an DO IT!

Making Decisions

This week I have been exploring and discovering new things. Learning about life and creating my own opinion on things I had never really thought of before. In my psychology class we learned about a psychologist, James Marcia. He had a theory of people's development and decision making. There are 4 stages in decision making, that don't all necessarily go in order. Identity Achievement is when someone has studied out their options and made a clear decision on something. Moratorium is when someone is searching out their options but is not committed to a decision. Identity Diffusion is when someone has not made a clear decision on anything and is not studying out their options. It's kind of an "I don't care about that and don't care to know either". and Identity Foreclosure is when you have made a committed decision on something without studying out your options. For example a child deciding to take over the family business because that's what he's been told all his life that he was going to do, but he has not looked at other options. As we were learning about this I discovered that for many things in life I was in the diffusion stage or moratorium. I decided I didn't like that. So I have been doing some random research lately, with the help of some friends, to to make decisions on what I agree with and what I don't. I have discovered that I really like going directly to the source and deciding what I like and dislike from there. I don't necessarily need to go look up the people for or against something. I just look at their sources. I think that is a good way of going about it. I'm Mormon and I figure the best way for people to find out more about my religion is asking me and going directly to the sources provided by the LDS church, such as mormon.org, Mormon missionaries, active members, lds.org and the prophet, apostles and other leaders of the church, who we will be able to hear from directly this weekend. It is the same with the political scene. Today I decided to go to Romney's page and Obama's page to find out what they stand for, their plans for America. I also was able to watch the debate tonight, which can be found on youtube if anyone is interested in watching it. It is definitely worth it. I believe it is important for each of us to make educated decisions for our lives, our country, and everything. I'm grateful for the experience. Another topic I have been looking into lately is about abortion and the group planned parenthood. I will go more into these topics at a later time in another post. For now I'd like to give my opinion for all those who do not have any committed decision on something, to search out your options and figure out what is important to you, because if you don't decide for yourself, someone else will decide for you. That's my thoughts for now. A Friend Always, ME

An Update on the Life of Me... :D

So I have a friend that updates a blog like once a month and I always look forward to reading it. I have no idea if anyone looks forward to my blog posts like I do with this friend, but I decided to post an update of me just in case someone does like to read what I have to say.
So I'm working two jobs. A gas station cashier 4 days a week, and a waitress 1 day a week, on a normal week. I am auditioning for my county talent show tonight. It will be here in the wonderful town I live in on November 9th if anyone wants to come. I will make sure I post if I make it to perform that night. I have two songs I'm doing. One is a song I wrote the piano part and the lyrics. the other my brother wants me to learn by tonight... so we can sing it together. hopefully I will have it learned by then. :D
I have an old guy (like white hair prolly at least in his 60's ish) who thinks I'm concieted. I love this story. I find it funny so I will share it. He always comes in and buys the scratcher and lottery tickets hoping to win something big (like a 1000 or more). (side note- everyone I've asked who buys lottery tickets or does gambling of any kind says if they wanted to break even they'd have to win a whole lot. like at least 10,000. so I think the whole lottery thing is rather pointless. Except for the fact that if they win more then like 20 some will share what they win with the person who sold them the ticket or cashed it in for them. so I'm way ahead of a game I've never played because of that :D) anyways, So this guy is one who doesn't share when he wins. BUT, one day he came in and said "What are we gonna do with you?" I looked at him rather confused and asked what he meant. He said "We'll take you out and buy you some new clothes and to a hair salon to get your hair done all pretty." I asked why and his responce was "To make you beautiful." I told him "But I'm already beautiful" (any one who knows me well knows I say things like this a lot) So he changed it to "to make you more beautiful" I told him that I didn't think that could make me more beautiful than I already am. so he called me concieted and walked out the door. This conversation has come up later, but I found it quite funny. My co workers thought he was being kind of rude, but I've gotten the same reaction the old guy gave several times before. So I'm confident in my side that I am beautiful.
Later I was talking to one of my coworkers and she said she didn't like talking about herself and the whole "self gratification" thing so she won't say she's beautiful or anything really good about herslf because you're suppose to praise God. I asked her if God would want us to call his creations beautiful. I think God wants us to be happy and confident. I'm not confident because I of myself am beautiful. I am beautiful because God me. Basically Alma 26 is my definition of being humble and confident. when you talk about all the good things happening in your life, you need to give credit to God for the blessings you're receiveing. I'm not perfect at it. I guaruntee that. But I also think we should be grateful to God for the hard times. They happen for a reason and God knows better then anyone else how to make a situation that seems terrible at the time into something you can be grateful for throughout the rest of your life if you let Him.

Anyways, that's just some thoughts from me. I definately recommend reading Alma 26 and the chapters following. For years I was so confused about being humble and happy asnd confident. I searched everywhere for an answer, and wouldn't you know, the answer was in the books I carry around all the time. sitting right next to my bed or on my desk. all I had to do was read.

Make Today Spectacular

A Friend Always,

Jessalyn

gotta love days like today

woke up, couldn't sleep, wasn't exactly in the best mood and I had to go to work at 6 am. I just love days that start out like this, and I'm not being sarcastic. so I get to work and during breakfast I get a present from a friend (totally made me smile), later an older couple I was serving (I'm a waitress on Mondays) asked me to join them in a blessing on their food and in the prayer they prayed for me (so sweet), then at the end of day I was counting up my tips... I had one customer left and we were closing... I noticed I was about $13 short of my average. I figured the guy left would give me a tip no more then $3, so I'd still be short about $10. I talked to him as I was cleaning up the place. He paid for his lunch with a card, then looked in his wallet to give me a tip. all he had was a $20. He gave it to me and said it as a mission contribution. $20 tip! yeah, that never happens unless it's a really big group, and this was only one guy! his meal only cost him $10.
It seems some of the best days start out not so great, or maybe I just appreciate the good moments more when I'm not feeling the greatest.... idk.

my only thought today is "I believe there are angels among us, sent down to us from somewhere up above. theycome to you and me in our darkest hour, to show us how to live, to teach us how to give and guide us with a light of love"

Just some thoughts.

A Friend Always,
ME